Because August and September are school-starting months, in these months our posts will focus on things you can do to help your child get a good start at school this year.

Do you wish your child were more successful in school? Do you wish your child followed rules better?

One thing that can help your child be a better student and help your child follow rules better is “love with no strings attached” or what some call, unconditional love. This is the “soft “ part of caring for children and is very important to the learning and discipline parts of raising a child. It is what strengthens children making them able to learn new things, accept the need for rules, and be responsible for their behavior. 

What happens when children really believe that they are loved and will be cared for (by parents, caregivers, and teachers) even if they don’t get A’s on their report card and even if they mess up and get in trouble?

What happens is that they become strong enough to keep trying to get that “A” and to keep trying to stay out of trouble. On the other hand, when children think they have lost the love of the important people in their lives, they can easily give up and just accept that they are “dumb” or are “mess-ups.”

Make sure your children know that you are on their side, love them, and will protect them no matter what (the “soft” part of caring for them). And, know that loving them does not mean giving up on strong discipline. You can and should continue to set rules for their behavior and stick to them.