Make a list of “invisible responsibilities” in your household. Invisible responsibilities are ones that adults do that children are not aware of or don’t pay any attention to.

If you are not sure what might be “invisible,” ask your children some questions:

• Who washes your clothes? How often?

• Who cooks dinner?

• Who cleans the bathroom? How often?

• What are the things that Mom and Dad do to take care of our pet?

• What are the things that Mom and Dad do to make sure we have a house to live in?

Also ask yourself how often your children thank you for meeting these responsibilities? This could be a sign that even if they know you are meeting them, they are acting like they are “invisible.” Let them know these things.

• Sometimes it is hard to meet your responsibilities because you are tired or not feeling well or have other things you would enjoy doing.

• You willingly do these things to take care of them and the family because you love them.

• You understand that they might feel this way about some of their responsibilities too (schoolwork, chores, team activities, etc.). Thank them for meeting their responsibilities. Tell them you are proud of them when they do.

If you wish, you can follow-up with inviting them to list some of their responsibilities. Let them come up with their list on their own, so you can get an idea what they believe their responsibilities are. They may differ somewhat from what you think they are, but this activity is not about agreeing on a list. Don’t add to or subtract from their list; just accept it as information from their point of view. Thank them for sharing.