For the next couple of days, notice how many times someone tells you what he believes you think or feel about something – or what you should think or feel.  For example, “You’re going to love this book.” I know you’re angry with me.”

What was that like for you? How many times were they right? How did you respond? Did it matter to you who was telling you – friend, relative, stranger, boss, employee?

Think about how often you send these kinds of messages to other adults or to your children and remember how you felt when you were on the receiving end. Try some messages that invite or ask instead. Messages that encourage others to think for themselves. For example, “I am interested in what you think about this book.” “Are you angry with me?” What are your feelings about our last conversation?”