Compliments about who you are (not things you do) help your children learn better because the trial and error of learning and the inevitable mistakes that are made in the learning process are less likely to be interpreted as criticism when your children are feeling good about themselves.

Likewise, compliments about things your children do well opens them up to accepting and believing compliments about who they are.

To give your child useful compliments …

• Focus on one thing you like about your child or that  she does well.  Pick a day and each time you see that tell her exactly what you liked about it.

• For example, if you like that she makes you laugh, every time she makes you laugh that day, take a minute to tell her specifically what it was about her behavior that you enjoyed.

To celebrate something your child can do for himself …

• Pick a skill your child has shown recently – cleaned off the table, brushed his teeth, got a good grade in math, cleaned up his toys –  pick a day to celebrate it.

• Make a big deal about it at the dinner table, plan a special afternoon snack to celebrate, make him a “Yeah for You” greeting card that can be put up for all to see.