“Anything goes” is not good for anyone, adults or children. Think about whether you experienced “anything goes” as a child.

• Did you have chores you were expected to do?

• Were rules enforced in your household?

• Were you often saved from feeling frustrated, disappointed, or paying consequences for mistakes?

• Were you excused even when you were at fault?

If you think this was your experience, know that parents who take this approach do so out of love, often not realizing how important it is to balance the softness of deep love with the firmness of correcting and teaching children. Therefore, you can assume your parents did the best they could with what they knew and understood. However, because you know many things about children that they many not have, you can decide to take a different approach with your children without disrespecting your own upbringing.

If you decide you did not experience “anything goes,” celebrate that you had balanced love and firmness in your life, and do all you can to take that approach with your children too.