The younger children are, the more adult care is necessary when they are hurt; the older children are, the more they can do self-care.
Even when children are too young to say what they need when they are hurt, an adult can say things like: “Do you need a kiss?” “Would rocking feel good?” Even though children cannot answer, the adult can plant seeds for them to begin to learn what they need – very important for both kids and adults.
Older children can talk for themselves and tell you they need a Band-Aid or a hug or to be by themselves. Remember that even teens need attention when they are hurt. It will just look different than when they were younger. They may need a pat on the shoulder, your watching a favorite TV show with them, or listening to them talk about what happened – without jumping in with your advice (unless asked).
Picture Book Parenting 