When kids are loved with no strings attached, they know they can count on that love.  No matter if they follow all the rules all the time. No matter if they win or lose the game. No matter how they look. No matter what they can or cannot do.

What does love with no strings attached look like?

• Loving your kids just because they are your children, alive, and deserving of love and respect.

• Teaching your kids the skills they need to become independent and get along in the world without you.

• Having high expectations of your kids, so they can learn to be sure of themselves and hopeful about their future.

• Teaching your kids how to make up for their mistakes, so they know they will always be loved. Teaching them to do more than just say they are sorry. Teaching them how to do something to take care of any person they hurt.

• Saying no in a straightforward way when you need to. Making sure your discipline is about protecting and teaching your kids rather than punishing them.

What does strings attached look like?

• Giving too much time, attention, and power. Danger: Kids become rulers within the household, being allowed to make decisions that adults should be making.

• Giving too much stuff. Danger: Kids are never satisfied and don’t really know how to enjoy what they have?

• Requiring too few rules that fit your kids’ ages. Danger: Kids don’t learn how to get along in the world and stay out of trouble.

• Not insisting on consequences for bad behavior. Danger: Kids expect to be let off the hook and don’t learn responsibility.

• Protecting from sadness and disappointment. Danger: Kids don’t learn to deal with difficult feelings.

• Giving too many “yeses” and privileges. Danger: Kids are never sure they are safe and are worried about who will protect them from the consequences of their mistakes.