A valentine-inspired activity that also teaches communication.

1. If possible, make  two valentines for each student. It can be as simple as two  index cards or post-it notes (added feature: can wear them) with a heart and each type of message described below.

2. Teach your students about the two kinds of messages and have them make two valentines for someone at home. These could also be as simple as index cards.

Make one valentine with a What-You-Do message that says how much you like something your student is able to do very well (can also be a rule that she is good at following).

Make another valentine with a Who-You-Are message that says how much you enjoy your student not because of anything she does but just because she is who she is. Some possibilities: “I like you.” “You’re fun to have in class.” “I like laughing with you” “I’m glad you are here.” “I look forward to seeing you each class.”

Now that you have introduced your students to these two kinds of messages try to continue giving both kinds of messages. School by necessity requires lots of What-You-Do messages, but trying to mix in as many Who-You-Are messages as possible can help students learn. They set the stage for students to receive instruction and corrections as OK and not criticism – because the Who-You-Are messages they are collecting and storing convince them they are OK. After all, becoming more competent can only make them more OK.

are writing prompts and discussion topics you can use to help students think about asking for what they need and want. 

1. When you are asked questions like what you want to do at recess, what you want to have for lunch, what homework you want to work on first, or where do you want to sit how often do you give answers like  I don’t know, what do you want, or whatever? 

2. Think about why you do not know? Do you really not know or are you afraid to say what you want or need? You might be afraid you won’t get what you ask for and that will be very disappointing. You might be concerned that a friend will not like your answer and that will affect your friendship. Whatever your reason, you will for sure not get what you need or want unless you ask for it. People cannot read your mind.

3. Make a promise to yourself that when asked the next question about what you need or want, you will answer it directly (and politely), even if you are worried about what response you may get back in return.