With school starting, it’s a good time to think about how much rules become front and center for you and your children. A refresh on rules at home become important along with getting onboard with all the rules that are necessary for school.

Here are some things to think about.

• When explaining or enforcing rules watch out for criticism in your words, tone of voice, and facial expression. Children will focus on that, not on the rule or the purpose of the rule. Keep everything “matter of fact,” don’t point out past mess ups or future concerns about more mess ups. Expect the best.
• Make sure your rules match what your children can handle—their age, self-control, and ability to make good choices. Our job is to pay attention. In many ways it is like driving a car. It’s something you learn to do, not something you automatically know how to do. You can get tips from other parents you respect. You must stay alert and pay attention to signs of trouble. Drugs, alcohol, or distractions present serious dangers.
• Lastly, stick to the rules! You might as well not have any rules if you aren’t going to insist they be followed. Having no rules or not enforcing them is harmful for children. They deserve to have rules that protect them and teach them. It is worth your time and effort to spend time thinking of reasonable consequences for the breaking of rules. It will help you stick to the rules and your children to learn from the rules.