When Children Say “No”:
Remember that they are practicing persistence. Unfortunately, it is persistence at having their own way.
Don’t forbid them to say “no.” Just calmly insist that they do what they are told, especially when they are toddlers.
Don’t punish them or criticize them for saying “no.”
Hold the line on rules and find other ways for them to think for themselves and be persistent.
Tell them you know they don’t want to do what they are told, but they must do it anyway. Tell them why.
Don’t jump in and “help” them when they are frustrated trying to solve a problem. Let them struggle so they can practice persistence (for example, struggle to put puzzles together, reach for toys, open a box, etc.).
Let them struggle until they are successful and can see that determination pays off.
Encourage persistence by letting them learn to do things for themselves (for example, to turn a toy on and off, fix a snack, tie their shoes, etc.).
(See Teaching Kids to Wait – Part 2 for more about children saying “no.”)
Spring’s Picture Books
We have been amazed at how much good parenting information is in children’s picture books – books that we hope you are reading everyday to the children in your lives – your own, your class, those you take care of. For each book, we are noting there is something in it to remind you of how to be the parent you want to be.
A reminder that your child has a star within him, and you can help it shine.
A reminder that you can help your children with sad and frustrated feelings when they can’t have everything they want.
A reminder how important it is for your children to learn to wait.
A reminder about what it means when your child says no and how important your response can be.
A reminder that it is important to help your child handle his or her aggression.
A reminder of how important it is for your child to have your attention.
Read All About It:
SELF-ESTEEM A FAMILY AFFAIR, Jean Illsley Clarke
GROWING UP AGAIN: PARENTING OURSELVES, PARENTING OUR CHILDREN, Jean Illsley Clarke and Connie Dawson
Surf the Internet:
no-saying in children