discipline | Picture Book Parenting

Welcome to PICTURE BOOK CLUB – WEEK SEVEN

How to participate in Picture Book Club …

Get the suggested books from your library or bookstore (local or online). See PICTURE BOOK CLUB BOOK LIST for the complete list of books for each week.
Before reading each of the weekly books to your child, READ FIRST “What Adults Can Learn from This Story.”
Read one or both books to your child as many times through the week as your child wants to hear them and you have time to read.
Consider doing whatever activities you think are appropriate for the age and maturity of your child from “Make This Story Come Alive for Your Child.”

WE WELCOME FEEDBACK ABOUT YOUR PARTICIPATION. YOU CAN LEAVE A COMMENT BY USING THE “WHAT DO YOU THINK?” BUTTON AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST.

A VIOLIN FOR ELVA by Mary Lyn Ray

(a story about exploring new things)

In A VIOLIN FOR ELVA, Elva wanted a violon, but no matter how much she asked for one as a child, her parents said no. Elva never gave up on the idea of playing the violin. Even without a violin, she pretended she was playing one and getting ready for a recital. Although Elva never had a violin as a child, when she was all grown up, she still dreamed of having a violin. When Elva as an adult finally bought herself a violin and began exploring, she felt bold enough to try different ways to make the violin sing. Elva expected to improve as she kept practicing, but she didn’t. “So, Elva snapped the case and put away her violin.” However, Elva was determined to play her violin so she started and stuck with lessons until she played in her first recital and found she could make music after all – her long-held dream.

“What Adults Can Learn from This Story …”

Kids naturally explore new things. This is how they take in new information, develop a love of learning, and become more independent and confident in themselves.
Children begin exploring new things as early as 6- to 18-months old as they creep and crawl, pull everything down, open every drawer and cupboard, and eat with their hands.
The job of adults is to encourage children to explore while making sure they are safe and the important things in the household are protected.
Kids focus on exploring strongly when they begin elementary school and as they begin middle school. They want to try out every new thing they hear about (play all the sports, try out every musical instrument, and dabble at all sorts of hobbies).
By exploring a special interest kids can determine what they are good at and what sparks their dreams and imagination. Without that exploration, interests can become just a memory and perhaps an unfulfilled wish.
Exploration requires boldness, confidence, and creativity, all things that will be necessary for your child to become a successful, happy adult.
Kids often start a lot of things, but do not always finish them. Nonetheless, they need plenty of different opportunities to find that thing that “sticks.”
When something a child wants to explore doesn’t turn out to be all that he or she expects, she can become discouraged, so it is important that she understands the responsibilities that go with the opportunity to explore new things.
- Kids need to feel free to jump around from activity to activity. That is how they find that thing that means the most to them. However, “middle-jumping” should be discouraged.
- Middle-jumping means that because adults pay the money and make the time to support children’s “try outs,” they need to finish all the lessons paid for. They can jump out of the activity at the next sign up, but not in the middle.
- Middle-jumping means if children become a member of a team, they need to meet their “promise” to their team members and not ruin the experience for others by jumping off. They can jump off the team at the end of a season and never join again, but not in the middle.

“Make this Story Come Alive for Your Child …”

Ask your child if there is a musical instrument he wishes he could play – or some other skill he wishes he could learn.
Tell your child about things you wanted to explore when you were a child and what it was like to get or not get that opportunity.
Ask your child what she thinks it was like for Elva to be able to finally be able to play the violin.
Ask your child if there is a something he wishes he could learn to do?
Tell your child about something you wish you could learn to do. Talk about what you might do about that.

PIGSTY by Mark Teague

(a story about consequences for breaking rules)

“What Adults Can Learn from This Story … “

If rules are not enforced, there might as well be no rules at all which is a form of abandonment because children need and deserve to have rules that protect and teach them.
A “natural consequence” can be a useful way to teach a child. With a natural consequence, an adult does not create what happens as a result of a child’s misbehavior. Instead, the child’s misbehavior itself causes an automatic result. Example: a child leaves his toy outside, and it is too wet to be played with the next day.
“Natural consequences” should only be used if they are safe and not too severe. A child shouldn’t be allowed to play at the stove to learn he can get burned (unsafe) or sleep through tryouts for a team and then not be able to be on that team until the next year (too severe).
When a natural consequence is not a good choice, a “logical consequence” can be used. With logical consequences there is an obvious connection between a rule and what happens if the rule is broken. For example, for a homework-before-TV rule, it makes sense (is logical) that no TV would be allowed in the evening if the rule is broken. The child is not punished by an adult, but rather is dealing with the result of her own choice to not follow the rule.
Logical consequences are not always easy to figure out, but they are worth the brain power and creativity required because they give children lasting lessons.
When using natural or logical consequences, it is important to be as matter-of-fact as possible when enforcing them
Despite what children might say when a consequence is enforced, they won’t stop loving the adults who care enough to protect them and teach them how to get along in the world.

“Make this Story Come Alive for Your Child …”

Ask your child why she thinks Wendall wanted a messy room.
Pick a house rule and ask your child what he thinks the consequence should be if that rule is broken?
- If his consequence is very harsh, suggest a less harsh one and ask if he thinks that consequence would be enough to help a child learn to follow the rule.
- If his consequence is very lenient, suggest a stronger one and ask if he thinks that consequence would be better at teaching a child to follow the rule.

Welcome to PICTURE BOOK CLUB – WEEK SEVEN

How to participate in Picture Book Club …

Get the suggested books from your library or bookstore (local or online). See PICTURE BOOK CLUB BOOK LIST for the complete list of books for each week.

Before reading each of the weekly books to your child, READ FIRST “What Adults Can Learn from This Story.”

Read one or both books to your child as many times through the week as your child wants to hear them and you have time to read.

Consider doing whatever activities you think are appropriate for the age and maturity of your child from “Make This Story Come Alive for Your Child.”

A VIOLIN FOR ELVA by Mary Lyn Ray

(a story about exploring new things)

“What Adults Can Learn from This Story …”

Kids naturally explore new things. This is how they take in new information, develop a love of learning, and become more independent and confident in themselves.

Children begin exploring new things as early as 6- to 18-months old as they creep and crawl, pull everything down, open every drawer and cupboard, and eat with their hands.

The job of adults is to encourage children to explore while making sure they are safe and the important things in the household are protected.

Kids focus on exploring strongly when they begin elementary school and as they begin middle school. They want to try out every new thing they hear about (play all the sports, try out every musical instrument, and dabble at all sorts of hobbies).

By exploring a special interest kids can determine what they are good at and what sparks their dreams and imagination. Without that exploration, interests can become just a memory and perhaps an unfulfilled wish.

Exploration requires boldness, confidence, and creativity, all things that will be necessary for your child to become a successful, happy adult.

Kids often start a lot of things, but do not always finish them. Nonetheless, they need plenty of different opportunities to find that thing that “sticks.”

When something a child wants to explore doesn’t turn out to be all that he or she expects, she can become discouraged, so it is important that she understands the responsibilities that go with the opportunity to explore new things.

Kids need to feel free to jump around from activity to activity. That is how they find that thing that means the most to them. However, “middle-jumping” should be discouraged.

Middle-jumping means that because adults pay the money and make the time to support children’s “try outs,” they need to finish all the lessons paid for. They can jump out of the activity at the next sign up, but not in the middle.

Middle-jumping means if children become a member of a team, they need to meet their “promise” to their team members and not ruin the experience for others by jumping off. They can jump off the team at the end of a season and never join again, but not in the middle.

“Make this Story Come Alive for Your Child …”

Ask your child if there is a musical instrument he wishes he could play – or some other skill he wishes he could learn.

Tell your child about things you wanted to explore when you were a child and what it was like to get or not get that opportunity.

Ask your child what she thinks it was like for Elva to be able to finally be able to play the violin.

Ask your child if there is a something he wishes he could learn to do?

Tell your child about something you wish you could learn to do. Talk about what you might do about that.

PIGSTY by Mark Teague

(a story about consequences for breaking rules)

“What Adults Can Learn from This Story … “

If rules are not enforced, there might as well be no rules at all which is a form of abandonment because children need and deserve to have rules that protect and teach them.

“Natural consequences” should only be used if they are safe and not too severe. A child shouldn’t be allowed to play at the stove to learn he can get burned (unsafe) or sleep through tryouts for a team and then not be able to be on that team until the next year (too severe).

Logical consequences are not always easy to figure out, but they are worth the brain power and creativity required because they give children lasting lessons.

When using natural or logical consequences, it is important to be as matter-of-fact as possible when enforcing them

Despite what children might say when a consequence is enforced, they won’t stop loving the adults who care enough to protect them and teach them how to get along in the world.

“Make this Story Come Alive for Your Child …”

Ask your child why she thinks Wendall wanted a messy room.

Pick a house rule and ask your child what he thinks the consequence should be if that rule is broken?

If his consequence is very harsh, suggest a less harsh one and ask if he thinks that consequence would be enough to help a child learn to follow the rule.

If his consequence is very lenient, suggest a stronger one and ask if he thinks that consequence would be better at teaching a child to follow the rule.

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