Welcome to PICTURE BOOK CLUB – WEEK TEN
How to participate in Picture Book Club …
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Get the suggested books from your library or bookstore (local or online). See PICTURE BOOK CLUB BOOK LIST for the complete list of books for each week.
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Before reading each of the weekly books to your child, READ FIRST “What Adults Can Learn from This Story.”
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Read one or both books to your child as many times through the week as your child wants to hear them and you have time to read.
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Consider doing whatever activities you think are appropriate for the age and maturity of your child from “Make This Story Come Alive for Your Child.”
WE WELCOME FEEDBACK ABOUT YOUR PARTICIPATION. YOU CAN LEAVE A COMMENT BY USING THE “WHAT DO YOU THINK?” BUTTON AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST.
BACK TO SCHOOL TORTOISE by Merel Eyckerman
(a story about going-back-to-school)
In BACK TO SCHOOL TORTOISE, Tortoise started off to school on the first day, but then “… he started thinking, what if ….” He thought about all sorts of things that might go wrong. “No, he decided. I can’t go in.” But then he again started thinking, what if …. He thought about all sorts of things that might go right. He mustered his bravery and went into school. The students all welcomed him and learned that even the adults at school were nervous on the first day.
“What Adults Can Learn from This Story …
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All children, no matter what age or grade, are at least worried about the first day of school, and some are very much afraid. Adults need to let children know that they understand they are worried and comfort them as best they can.
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School pulls your child toward being more grown up, which is hard to do. Growing up happens one step at a
time and often in a slow, zig-zag pattern with one step forward and one step backward.
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Even teenagers can be nervous about going back to school. They will not hold onto mom’s skirt or refuse to enter the building – that would be embarrassing. Their nerves will look more grown up. They might lollygag, be late getting ready, be obsessed with clothes and transportation, or generally be hard to get along with in the days leading up to and following the start of school.
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Fears about starting school may not be obvious right away. Some kids suck it up at first, let their excitement take over, and appear to have no problem starting school. Then, the fun wears off and the worries and pressures take over and resistance to going to school shows up.
“Make this Story Come Alive for Your Child …”
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Play a game of “What If ….” Take turns naming possible school fears (I fall down; kids are mean to me; I don’t know the answer to the teacher’s question). Then, take turns suggesting what could be done if any of the worrisome things happen. For example, don’t know the answer? Just say you don’t know.
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Tell your child that you notice and like how he is growing up.
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Plan some physical activity in the afternoon or evening of school days. Your child may sleep better and have more energy for school the next morning.
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Play “Asking for Help” with your child. Take turns thinking of different ways you can ask for help in different school situations (can’t find your way in the school – ask first adult you see; need a pencil – ask teacher for one). See how many ways you each can think of, write them down, and post them in an obvious place at home. Ask your child what ideas he likes the best.
SUKI & MIRABELLA by Carmela and Steven D’Amico
(a story about getting attention)
In SUKI & MIRABELLA, Suki was the “queen” among her brothers and sisters. She was in charge of her world. “She always got plenty of attention from Momma.” When Suki’s cousin, Mirabella visited for the summer, Suki lost her control over her playmates. They wanted to pay attention to Mirabella instead. Suki decided that it would be fun to compete with Mirabella. Suki liked that she “… could roll the longest and fastest.” She didn’t think Mirabella with her shiny coat and fancy name could do that. Mirabella liked less active things, but Suki didn’t “… like to do stuff if I have to stay in one spot, …. That’s boring.” The competitions ended when Suki and Mirabella got stuck in a thicket. Then, cooperation became the name of the game. They began to listen to each other and accept each other’s ideas which led to freeing themselves from the thicket.
“What Adults Can Learn from This Story …”
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Overindulgence of kids can be many things – too much stuff, too many gifts, too much attention, control over adult matters, or things done for them that they should be able to do for themselves.
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Signs of overindulgence include kids:
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Being allowed to control what happens in the family by making decisions adults should be making (where each person will sit at the dinner table, what to watch on TV, what to eat for dinner, where to vacation, etc.)
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Expecting to have what they want when they want it.
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Expecting to be involved in everything within the family and not understanding that somethings are just for adults.
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Being unable to adjust to babysitters and expecting parents to be with them all the time
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As children get older, they learn that they are not the center of the world they live in and can feel resentment from others because of their pushy and demanding behaviors. Although overindulgence can seem like “the good life” when young, the reality of the grown-up world sets in – where they need to earn their way and be able to take care of themselves.
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Children may not believe there is enough power and attention in their family, classroom, or neighborhood for them to get the amount of attention they need, so they try hard to hold on to any control they have over their world.
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When kids believe they can do many things well and that they are loved no matter what, they can feel more secure, less afraid, less jealous, and more able to share the attention available in their world.
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Competition is a way that children try to get the attention they need and make themselves feel powerful. Competition can teach children many important things like how to cope with the ups and downs of winning and losing, the importance of never giving up, and that hard work is the way to succeed. However, competing can also invite kids to decide that to be on top means they have to put someone else down – that life is all about overpowering others.
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When children complain about boredom, adults need to be alert to whether they have exceptional abilities they are not being challenged to use. They may need playmates that
they have more in common with, special instruction to further develop their talents, or more complex kinds of toys or activities. -
If you suspect that your child is not learning as much or as quickly as he is capable of, you can talk with your school about having the child tested for giftedness. Also, know that giftedness can be an explanation for why a child might be getting in trouble at school. Gifted learners are not always the “A” students. Oftentimes the student who is failing, getting in trouble, or even dropping out of school is the one that is gifted and that needs more engaging, meaningful, and challenging work to do in school.
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Friendships can result from problem-solving that ends with win-win solutions rather than I win and you lose solutions.
“Ways to Make this Story Come Alive for Your Child …”
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Play a game with your child. When finished, ask him if he liked competing with you? Ask him why or why not? Explain to him that winning a game is fun and shows you played well, but it doesn’t mean that you are a better person overall than the player who lost the game. Competition is about who did the best job at one moment in time. When the game is over, it is time to move on. Either person could win the next time.
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The next time your child is being highly aggressive, competitive, and trying to overpower another child, have them work to solve their problem together. Insist they come up with a win-win solution in which they both get something they want. Turn them loose. Let them struggle. Don’t jump in with a solution. They may squabble more at the beginning, but as they become more desperate for a solution (and to getting what they each want), the more cooperative they will become. Of course, they may get tired of the exercise and just give up the original fight and move on to something else to do – still a not bad solution.
Picture Book Parenting 