Welcome to our ADULT LIFE DECISIONS Series. These posts are about the adults in the lives of children because children deserve caring, healthy adults taking care of them. It is designed to help adults become more aware of their own potential as they strive to make the best lives possible for themselves and their children. Each posting will explore life decisions adults are faced with and how they can update those decisions to be sure they are helpful to them in their current life circumstances. 

To get the most from this post …

READ FIRST the earlier posts:  

• Recycling

• Eight Adult Life Decisions

• Your “Best Fit” Life Decision Area

• Successful Recycling

• Belief Systems = Helpful Life Decisions

• Understanding Communication

• Giving, Receiving, Accepting Supportive Messages

• Internal Rules of Communication

• A “Thinking for Yourself” Belief System

“Thinking for Yourself” Recycling Clues

Below are clues that you may need to examine your beliefs about THINKING FOR YOURSELF. Clues that you may need to modernize your decisions, match them to who you are today and who you want to be, make them fit the demands of your life in the here and now.

It can be time to think about whether your THINKING FOR YOURSELF life decisions are working for you, when you repeatedly:

• Use anger to cover fear or sadness.

• Think the world revolves around you.

• Are afraid of anger in yourself or others.

• Say no or yes without thinking first.

• Are scared to say no and allow others to dominate.

How can you recycle your life decisions about THINKING FOR YOURSELF? Review A THINKING FOR YOURSELF Belief System. Begin working on believing the ideas listed there more deeply. Try some of the activities below as “kickstarters” to being open to strengthening your Thinking for Yourself decisions.

• Think of something it is important for you to say no to and say no to that.

• Next time you are angry, identify and label what it is that you are afraid of, hurt about, or frustrated by.

• Solve a puzzle.

Be prepared for others to notice changes in your views about yourself, others, and the world around you. Sometimes this can make others confused and even uncomfortable. They love you the way you used to think and act. They may be unsure whether they want you to change. It may take some time for them to learn to love you as you change some of how you think and act. They will in time. Be gentle with yourself and others, take one step at a time, and celebrate successes along the way.

This is our last post in our Adult Growth series. I hope you found the series valuable and that you will continue to think about this information.  Please let me know your thoughts about the 10-week series. You can use the “your comments” button at the bottom of any post. There is much more we can explore together in this series, if you are interested in continuing.

This posting is inspired by and adapted from Jean Illsley Clarke’s copyrighted books.

Do not distribute or duplicate without permission.