After a pandemic year of at-home school, the start of school this year is going to be an especially big deal for almost all families whether they have a kindergartner, first grader, middle schooler, or high schooler. Therefore, posts for all of August and September will be about back-to-school issues.

The messages your children hear as they begin school are important.  You can help your children get a good start at school this year by paying attention to the messages you give them.

There are two types of helpful messages.

• “You are cared about” messages

They sound like this: “I’m so glad we can be together tonight.” “You are fun to be with.” “Let me fix you your favorite snack.”

• “You do many things well” or “Let me show you how to do better” messages

They sound like this: “You stayed right with your homework today until you got it done.” “You were a real star at the soccer game.”  “Practice your spelling words, and you will do great on the test.”

Pick a day to keep track of the types of messages you give your children.

Did you give a lot more “care about you” messages than messages about things they did?

Children need more “care about you” messages at home because at school they are getting an overdose of messages about what they do well and how to do better.