Welcome to PICTURE BOOK CLUB – WEEK NINE
How to participate in Picture Book Club …
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Get the suggested books from your library or bookstore (local or online). See PICTURE BOOK CLUB BOOK LIST for the complete list of books for each week.
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Before reading each of the weekly books to your child, READ FIRST “What Adults Can Learn from This Story.”
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Read one or both books to your child as many times through the week as your child wants to hear them and you have time to read.
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Consider doing whatever activities you think are appropriate for the age and maturity of your child from “Make This Story Come Alive for Your Child.”
WE WELCOME FEEDBACK ABOUT YOUR PARTICIPATION. YOU CAN LEAVE A COMMENT BY USING THE “WHAT DO YOU THINK?” BUTTON AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST.
MOM, IT’S MY FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN!
by Hyewon Yum
(a story about a worried Mom and her worried son)
In MOM, IT’S MY FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN, Mom worried about her son having enough food and school supplies and being late. Her son reassured her that everything was fine. When her son arrived at his classroom door, suddenly he wasn’t sure he was ready after all. Mom reassured him. He hugs and kisses Mom good-bye and decides, “Kindergarten is awesome.”
“What Adults Can Learn from This Story …”
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It’s OK for adults to be happy about the start of school. Childcare, housework, and office work can be easier to manage and maybe there can be some extra me-time too.
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It’s OK for adults to be sad about the start of school. You may miss your child, especially if he is going to school for the first time. If you are super sad find a friend to talk to about it and be sure you don’t talk about your sadness to your child in a way that may leave him feeling responsible – like he could make you happy if he stayed home.
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It is possible to feel two ways at one time. A child can feel excited, grown-up, and ready for school some of the time and very unsure of himself at other times. Bravely moving forward can prove to him that he is indeed ready. Also, it can help when adults and friends reassure him as well.
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Remember that school is your child’s experience. Be careful about how many and what
kinds of questions you ask. Ask about what you need to know but be specific. “Did you have the right supplies?” is much better than a great big question like, “How was school today?” -
Accept “Fine” or “OK” as an answer when asking about school. If your child doesn’t give details, let it go. Just be sure he knows you are available to talk about anything anytime.
“Make this Story Come Alive for Your Child …”
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Ask your child what he hopes school will be like? Does he think it will live up to his hopes? If not, what does he think it will really be like?
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Tell your child that you will miss her while she is at school. Also explain how you will handle missing her – maybe you plan something special for when you get back together, play some music that makes you think of her, or imagine that big bear hug you’re going to give her when you see her.
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Ask your child if there are things he will miss while he is at school? What does he think will help him with those feelings?
THE MONSTER WHO LOST HIS MEAN
by Tiffany Strelitz Haber
(a story about name-calling)
In THE MONSTER WHO LOST HIS MEAN, the monster was known for his Mean. “Mean” was what he was called, until he lost his Mean. “I’m nothing since I lost my Mean!” he sobbed into his stew. “Without my M, I’m not myself – I’m someone else instead.” Instead of being Mean, the “onster” began to do chores and follow rules. He wanted to get his M back by pulling the flowers out of a neighbor’s yard, but he was helpful instead and gave the flowers the water they needed. He wanted to be mean and throw eggs at a car, but he decided to be friendly instead and cooked brunch for the owner of the car. He became known for good behavior instead of mean behavior. The “onster’s” new-found friends complimented him with a giant poster, “You’re the Coolest Onster in All the World.”
“What Adults Can Learn from This Story …”
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Criticizing children by name-calling is dangerous. When adults and other kids tell them they
are mean, sneaky, fat, or stupid, they believe that. When people around them expect them to act out what these names say, they begin to do just that. -
Adults need to choose words carefully with children. Even if labels are meant to be endearing, children aren’t good at figuring out “what is meant.” They take things at face value. “My sweet little devil” to a child is about being a devil.
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It is possible to teach children how to do the right things and how to do things well without using criticism. You can use this approach to teach your childhow to do better. It is the opposite of criticism. Tell your child:
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“Don’t do that… “ (Make a direct and clear statement about what is not OK.);
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“because…. “ (Give a reason why it’s not OK.);
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“do this …. Instead“ (Show how to do the right thing.).
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When we criticize kids for their bad behavior, they believe that is how they are expected to act and they do just that. On the other hand, when we compliment kids for good behavior they begin to believe that is how they are expected to act and do just that.
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Compliments are powerful ways to encourage good behavior, especially ones that give details so the child knows what to do over and over again. “You gave up your free time to help the Landers family by cooking them a nice lunch. You are very kind.”
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Your child has a favorite way to hear compliments that will help him or her believe them and hold onto them. It is best to serve up your compliments in your child’s favorite way.
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Hearing it directly from you. (“You made your bed without any wrinkles today. That is so helpful.”)
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Hearing it in her own voice. (“I know how to make my bed now.”)
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Hearing it second-hand. (Mom tells Dad about the wrinkle-free bed-making, and Dad tells the child, “I heard from Mom that you made your bed smooth as silk today. Way to go.”)
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If your child acts like he doesn’t care or even worse rejects your compliments (“Oh what I did wasn’t really that good.”), tell him you notice he isn’t willing to believe your compliment, but you want him to know you really mean it. “You are acting like you aren’t hearing me. I said I am impressed by this report card with your highest grades ever, and I really am!”
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Your child deserves compliments for the many things she can DO well. “You can sing with such a clear, pretty voice.” However, your child also deserves to be loved and cared for regardless of what she can DO or NOT DO. “Come sit next to me so we can snuggle.”
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Give only compliments you truly believe. If you give compliments you don’t believe, your child will sense that it isn’t real and will learn not to accept any of your compliments.
“Make this Story Come Alive for Your Child …”
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Ask your child if he or she thinks it would be easier to be mean or easier to be helpful, kind, and caring.
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Ask your child how he thinks the “onster” felt when he saw his “You’re the Coolest Onster in All the World” poster.
Picture Book Parenting 