aggression | Picture Book Parenting

Welcome to the 2026 PICTURE BOOK CLUB – WEEK FIVE

How to participate in Picture Book Club …

Get the suggested books from the library or bookstore (local or online). See 2026 PICTURE BOOK CLUB: COMPLETE LIST OF BOOKS for the list of books suggested for each week.
Before reading each of the weekly books to your child, READ FIRST “Things to Think About”
Read one or both books to your child as many times through the week as your child wants to hear them and you have time to read.
Consider doing whatever activities you think are appropriate for the age and maturity of your child from “Making the Story Come Alive ”

WE WELCOME FEEDBACK ABOUT YOUR PARTICIPATION. YOU CAN LEAVE A COMMENT BY USING THE “WHAT DO YOU THINK?” BUTTON AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST.

SMALL KNIGHT AND THE ANGRY PRINCE by Manka Kasha

(a story about anger, masculinity, and femininity)

A small knight lived in a castle with her parents. One day her cousin, a prince, came to visit. He was constantly angry. He wouldn’t play with the small knight and never explained why. When small knight invited him to be in a knight tournament, he angrily refused saying the small knight could never beat him and that princesses should stick to curtsying. The prince’s mother corrected him and suggested he go learn to curtsy from his uncle the king. Now small knight was angry too and had to find a way to calm herself down. She did and then continued to reach out to the prince to find out why he was so angry and what kinds of things made him happy. The small knight encouraged him to do fun things and to whack his sword on a tree stump in order to release his worry and anger about not being good enough. The prince did had fun, became calm, and was willing to have the knight tournament after all.

Things to Think About

When your child is refusing to do what he is expected to do, it is best not to back down no matter how much you might want to in order to keep him calm. Insist on the expected behavior. Remember that the more you hold the line, the less afraid you will feel about his angry responses. The anger will pass, but the lesson learned by the child will last forever.
It is your reaction to anger that makes it good or bad. It is bad if you respond by doing something you wish you hadn’t. It is good if it motivates you to take action to solve a problem.
Remember that a child is a person no matter how small. Children and adults get mad at some of the same things.
- Does it make you mad when people don’t do what they said they would – show up for an appointment, do something they promised, etc.? Children are the same way. The words they hear from you have exact meanings to them. “In a minute.” to a child means very quickly. How many times have you said that, and it is many, many minutes later before you follow through? Or, worse yet, you forget all together to follow through. The next time you say, “In a minute.” let it be a reminder to you that this is a chance to build trust with your child. Be sure to respond quickly. If “In a minute.” is not what you really mean, change your words. You could say, “As soon as I finish ….” or “It will take me until the big hand is on 6 before I can stop what I am doing.”
- Has anyone ever “cleaned up” after you and ruined something you were not finished with yet? It can be upsetting. It can cause you all kinds of extra work to get going again and somehow disrespects the work you had put in so far. When a child has worked on a project or been playing with certain toys, it can be hard to know if he is finished. And there is a tendency to feel like if he doesn’t clean up after himself, when you want things out of the way, you have the right to clean up and put things where you want them.
- Have you ever found yourself unable to get a word in edgewise in a conversation? It can be frustrating. Fortunately, as adults, we don’t allow ourselves to throw a temper tantrum over it or act out in some other obnoxious way. We can, however, get turned off to certain individuals and groups of people because of such disregard. Children can feel the same way. When they are with you in a group and see everyone talking back and forth, they are smart enough to see that you are all sort of taking turns. Pretty smart of them. Understandably, they expect to have a turn as well. But often adults do not permit that. They assume the child knows that he should be “seen and not heard.”
What’s it like for you when you are angry and can’t say anything about it? On the other hand, what was it like those few times when you were able to safely blow off steam? In which case did the anger last the longest? In which case were you better able to put the anger past you and move on? In which case were you better able to get to a problem solution? For most adults blowing off steam is helpful. Children are the same way. When you are getting an angry outburst from your child, think of it as temporary. Believe that it will lead to calmness afterwards. Without the outburst, not knowing what to do with all the emotion he is feeling, you could have a child acting out for quite some time in all sorts of ways toward you and others. It is the outburst that will bring on the calm the fastest.
Most of us feel more respected when we get to share what we think and feel and people don’t make assumptions about us – ones that are often wrong. It helps children build their self-esteem when they are allowed to have their own thoughts and feelings. In other words, don’t tell your child what he likes or doesn’t like. For example, “I fixed you blueberry pancakes; you are going to love them.” He may quickly feel angry that you are assuming he will like them. He knows he doesn’t like blueberries, and he expects you to know that too. You could be in for an angry refusal to even taste the pancakes.
When you respect your child’s opinion and allow her to teach you something about her likes and dislikes, she can feel important. For example, “I fixed you blueberry pancakes; I’m anxious to hear what you think about them.” Feeling important may offset any angry feelings about the food she thinks she isn’t going to like.
Some adults want to shut down their children’s anger and not listen to it because they don’t want the child to think tantrums are OK. Remember that listening to their anger doesn’t mean you are giving in to them. When you listen you are showing respect. You are saying their feelings are important. Giving in to what they want, however, is disrespectful because it says you don’t care about them enough to teach them about rules and consequences – something they need to learn about in order to get along in the world.
Anger is temporary. You can count on angry outbursts from your child, but you can also count on that anger not lasting long. A child’s anger comes and goes, starts and stops, and blows away almost as though it never happened. Sometimes all you need to do is listen and be understanding, which are much better choices than feeling afraid of her anger, feeling like a failure as a parent, or the need to save a child from the difficult things causing the anger.
If a situation is not negotiable, tell, don’t ask, even though anger may be the result. For example, in some households food choices are not negotiable. If it is not OK with you that your child eat anything else other than what was prepared, you should say that from the beginning. Let him be angry if he needs to be and decide not to eat. “This is what was prepared for breakfast, so you may have any food you see on the table or are able to fix for yourself or wait until lunch to eat.” Would you like to have frilled cheese or a ham sandwich for lunch?

Saying “no” shows that children:
- are developing a mind of their own
- know what they need and are beginning to think for themselves
- are practicing persistence in getting what they need. For more about persistence, see “Grit.”
Ways to respond to no-saying:
- Insist children do what you need them to do.
- Do not punish or criticize them for saying the word, “no.”
- Calmly say it’s OK to think for yourself, but you will still need to do what you are told to do.
- Stand your ground and insist on your way when you need to.
- If there is a usual consequence for breaking a rule, be sure to follow through with the consequence.
It is normal for children to feel angry. Don’t be afraid of or embarrassed by your child’s anger. Your job as a parent or caring adult is to understand about children’s anger and be as matter-of-fact as possible in dealing with it when it happens. You can read more about child anger at The Benefits of Art, Choices, and Discipline Part II.)
When faced with your child’s angry outbursts, control your own anger (which is often triggered by fear). Learning to not be afraid will help you avoid using your own anger to try to control your child. If dealing with a young child, you may need to use your “friendly” muscles. For example, physically removing the child from a situation or securely, but gently, holding a child in a quiet place while he calms down.
Boys and girls should have equal opportunity to follow their interests, regardless of whether those things are usually only for boys or usually only for girls. Important questions: Does your son play only with boys’ toys? Your daughter with girls’ toys? Are these the only toys he or she is interested in? Or, are these the only kinds of toys you approve of for your son or daughter? Would your child learn about more skills and various occupations, if he played with other types of toys?
If your little girl (or boy) is involved in play that is not typical for girls (or boys), try to prevent others from making fun of her (or him). You can let friends and relatives know that this is OK with you, and you see how much fun she (or he) is having right now with those toys. You can mention that you expect to see completely different interests develop any time now and that you have seen children switch from trucks to princess dolls or sewing to football overnight.

Making the Story Come Alive

Have your child list some of the things he often feels angry about. Choose a couple of them to discuss. See if understanding more about those situations might help control the anger.
At the next clean-up time, expect your child to help with clean-up to the degree his age and maturity allows. Ask your child what he is done with. Things he is not done with, he can protect by helping to decide on an out-of-the-way place to put them.
Think about the last time you dealt with your child’s anger. Rate your responses. You can score ½ points, if needed.
- 1 point: I really don’t think about this as a problem. I was glad to avoid a tantrum – even if it meant I ignored the situation or gave-in to my child. It was easier on everybody.
- 2 points: I knew and accepted this was a problem, but it didn’t seem like the biggest problem I had. I knew I should enforce rules. I tried to talk myself into staying in charge, but just couldn’t face the tantrum.
- 3 points: I knew it was important to follow through with rules and not give in. I wasn’t sure what to do, but I tried to be matter-of-fact about sticking to what I expected my child to do. I didn’t feel guilty afterwards, which I often do when I give-in.
- Try this exercise again in a week and see if your rating is improving. If it is, celebrate. You are making progress. If not, remember you can repeat things as many times as you need to.
When you see your child hitting, pushing, throwing, etc. help your child calm down and let her know she can show how angry she is, but you will not let her hurt herself, others, or things.
If she is young, you may need to use your friendly muscles to remove her from the situation or stop her from using her muscles to hurt people or things.
You can use time-out or time-in as tools for helping her to calm down. See the book TIME-IN by Jean Illsley Clarke and Cary Pillo for more about how to use time-in.
You can use a fuss box. Jean Illsley Clarke talks about the fuss box in her book, SELF-ESTEEM A FAMILY AFFAIR.
It is always good to be prepared. Think about times in the past when you have seen your child act out his frustrations. Make a list of ways you could help him calm down when you see that again.
Make a ledger on a piece of paper. Label one side “Good” and the other side “Bad.” On the Bad side, write notes about a time you were angry and did something you wish you hadn’t. On the Good side, write notes about times when anger motivated you to Celebrate all the times that anger resulted in something good. Also, think about how you can avoid letting your feelings lead you to do something you will regret. Remember that you are in control of your feelings. If the children you care about are old enough, you can share with them one of your examples and explain that how you reacted made the feeling end up being good instead of bad.
Take your child with you when meeting with another one or two adults. Try to make it an anger-less experience for your child as well as yourself by:
- Talking to your child ahead of time and letting her know that this is an adult conversation, and she is expected to either play on her own or be a listener. It’s also a good idea to let her know about how long you will be tied up in this conversation.
- Bringing supplies such as non-messy snacks, hand-held toys, or something to cuddle with.
- Taking short breaks from the adult conversation to talk to your child and see how things are going and whether he needs anything.
- Giving your child a silent signal to use when he needs to talk to you – like a tap on the arm or a tug on your purse.
Give your children opportunities to be interested in all things. For example, boys in dolls or interior design and girls in trucks or sports.
Play football with your daughter or cook with your son. Show your OK with whatever they like to play by asking to play right along with them.

_____________________________________________________

IGGY PECK, ARCHITECT by Andrea Beaty

(a story about children’s special talents)

In IGGY PECK, ARCHITECT, Iggy Peck was described as “… an architect and has been since he was two.” His mom thought the tower he built was “the coolest thing I’ve ever seen!” until she realized dirty diapers were involved. Then, she said, “That’s disgusting and nasty! It stinks!” In second grade, things were not good for Iggy Peck. His teacher said, “We do not talk of buildings in here!” A scary experience in a building at age seven led her to avoid all talk of buildings no matter what. “With no chance to build, his [Iggy’s] interest was killed. Now second grade was a bore.” That is until Iggy saved the day when on a field trip the class became stranded. He organized the class to build a bridge out of anything they could find. This was the beginning of his grown-up architect career that included him being a weekly guest speaker for his former second grade teacher.

Things to Think About

It is important that your child’s special talents and interests come to light and are encouraged – at home and at school. For some children, talents are easy to see quite early. For others, they develop more slowly with a lot of trial and error.
When children are young they may not be aware they have special talents and interests. They need adults to see those talents in them, point them out, and provide opportunities for them to develop them over time.
Sometimes talents are not very easy to see and require paying careful attention. Notice what your child wants to do a lot, what she is really good at, what she seems to stick with for longer periods of time than anything else, and what she goes back to do over and over again.
There are many ways your child can show you his special talents and interests.
- What does he have the most fun at?
- What types of questions does he ask?
- How does he play with his toys? Does he turn them upside down, pretend they are things they are not, take them apart?
Children need opportunities to explore their talents or interests to the fullest even if is messy and means using things in unusual, unexpected ways.
Whatever a child’s interests are they should have a place in in school. The best way to learn to read is to read about something you are interested in. Many a child’s love of learning has been unlocked by simply making his school lessons each day be about the things that interest him. All things have math in them (sports, cooking, building things, music) and science in them (machines, bicycles, cars, the human body). Everything in a child’s world can be used to teach the reading, writing, and arithmetic.
Many children having difficulty in school are actually gifted children who are bored. If your child is having trouble performing well in school, is causing trouble in school, or is just plain not happy at school, consider whether he is bored and whether his talents and interests are being ignored.
People often worry that because a child shows a special interest or talent while young, she will be pigeonholed into a career that won’t really be right for her as an adult. This idea may have had some value years ago, but not so much anymore. A child today will have multiple careers in his lifetime. A child’s early interests and talents may be an important first step to a first career while leading to many different careers as well.
Appreciate your child’s interests, even if others don’t. Even if she isn’t good enough at things yet, there is no telling where her determination could take her down the road.

Making the Story Come Alive

Ask your child what he is most interested in. Use Iggy as an example, he was most interested in building things. Tell your child what things you were interested in when you were young and what you are especially interested in now.
Ask your child what would help him learn more about what he is interested in. Tell him what you plan to do now to enjoy your special interests.
Think about whether you can get your child some lessons or classes. If they are too expensive, maybe there is a volunteer in your neighborhood, at work, or at church who knows a lot about what your child is interested in and would share what he or she knows with your child.
Help your child find other kids to be with that have the same interest or talent as he or she does.
Find ways for your child to be around adults who have the same interest or talent. If you have that talent in your family tree, be sure to share that and put your child in touch with those relatives. It is helpful for children to know they get their talents and interests “naturally” – that there is a reason they are the way they are.

Welcome to the 2026 PICTURE BOOK CLUB – WEEK FIVE

How to participate in Picture Book Club …

Get the suggested books from the library or bookstore (local or online). See 2026 PICTURE BOOK CLUB: COMPLETE LIST OF BOOKS for the list of books suggested for each week.

Before reading each of the weekly books to your child, READ FIRST “Things to Think About”

Read one or both books to your child as many times through the week as your child wants to hear them and you have time to read.

Consider doing whatever activities you think are appropriate for the age and maturity of your child from “Making the Story Come Alive ”

SMALL KNIGHT AND THE ANGRY PRINCE by Manka Kasha

(a story about anger, masculinity, and femininity)

Things to Think About

It is your reaction to anger that makes it good or bad. It is bad if you respond by doing something you wish you hadn’t. It is good if it motivates you to take action to solve a problem.

Remember that a child is a person no matter how small. Children and adults get mad at some of the same things.

Saying “no” shows that children:

are developing a mind of their own

know what they need and are beginning to think for themselves

are practicing persistence in getting what they need. For more about persistence, see “Grit.”

Ways to respond to no-saying:

Insist children do what you need them to do.

Do not punish or criticize them for saying the word, “no.”

Calmly say it’s OK to think for yourself, but you will still need to do what you are told to do.

Stand your ground and insist on your way when you need to.

If there is a usual consequence for breaking a rule, be sure to follow through with the consequence.

Making the Story Come Alive

Have your child list some of the things he often feels angry about. Choose a couple of them to discuss. See if understanding more about those situations might help control the anger.

At the next clean-up time, expect your child to help with clean-up to the degree his age and maturity allows. Ask your child what he is done with. Things he is not done with, he can protect by helping to decide on an out-of-the-way place to put them.

Think about the last time you dealt with your child’s anger. Rate your responses. You can score ½ points, if needed.

1 point: I really don’t think about this as a problem. I was glad to avoid a tantrum – even if it meant I ignored the situation or gave-in to my child. It was easier on everybody.

2 points: I knew and accepted this was a problem, but it didn’t seem like the biggest problem I had. I knew I should enforce rules. I tried to talk myself into staying in charge, but just couldn’t face the tantrum.

3 points: I knew it was important to follow through with rules and not give in. I wasn’t sure what to do, but I tried to be matter-of-fact about sticking to what I expected my child to do. I didn’t feel guilty afterwards, which I often do when I give-in.

Try this exercise again in a week and see if your rating is improving. If it is, celebrate. You are making progress. If not, remember you can repeat things as many times as you need to.

When you see your child hitting, pushing, throwing, etc. help your child calm down and let her know she can show how angry she is, but you will not let her hurt herself, others, or things.

If she is young, you may need to use your friendly muscles to remove her from the situation or stop her from using her muscles to hurt people or things.

You can use time-out or time-in as tools for helping her to calm down. See the book TIME-IN by Jean Illsley Clarke and Cary Pillo for more about how to use time-in.

You can use a fuss box. Jean Illsley Clarke talks about the fuss box in her book, SELF-ESTEEM A FAMILY AFFAIR.

It is always good to be prepared. Think about times in the past when you have seen your child act out his frustrations. Make a list of ways you could help him calm down when you see that again.

Take your child with you when meeting with another one or two adults. Try to make it an anger-less experience for your child as well as yourself by:

Talking to your child ahead of time and letting her know that this is an adult conversation, and she is expected to either play on her own or be a listener. It’s also a good idea to let her know about how long you will be tied up in this conversation.

Bringing supplies such as non-messy snacks, hand-held toys, or something to cuddle with.

Taking short breaks from the adult conversation to talk to your child and see how things are going and whether he needs anything.

Giving your child a silent signal to use when he needs to talk to you – like a tap on the arm or a tug on your purse.

Give your children opportunities to be interested in all things. For example, boys in dolls or interior design and girls in trucks or sports.

Play football with your daughter or cook with your son. Show your OK with whatever they like to play by asking to play right along with them.

IGGY PECK, ARCHITECT by Andrea Beaty

(a story about children’s special talents)

Things to Think About

It is important that your child’s special talents and interests come to light and are encouraged – at home and at school. For some children, talents are easy to see quite early. For others, they develop more slowly with a lot of trial and error.

When children are young they may not be aware they have special talents and interests. They need adults to see those talents in them, point them out, and provide opportunities for them to develop them over time.

Sometimes talents are not very easy to see and require paying careful attention. Notice what your child wants to do a lot, what she is really good at, what she seems to stick with for longer periods of time than anything else, and what she goes back to do over and over again.

There are many ways your child can show you his special talents and interests.

What does he have the most fun at?

What types of questions does he ask?

How does he play with his toys? Does he turn them upside down, pretend they are things they are not, take them apart?

Children need opportunities to explore their talents or interests to the fullest even if is messy and means using things in unusual, unexpected ways.

Many children having difficulty in school are actually gifted children who are bored. If your child is having trouble performing well in school, is causing trouble in school, or is just plain not happy at school, consider whether he is bored and whether his talents and interests are being ignored.

Appreciate your child’s interests, even if others don’t. Even if she isn’t good enough at things yet, there is no telling where her determination could take her down the road.

Making the Story Come Alive

Ask your child what he is most interested in. Use Iggy as an example, he was most interested in building things. Tell your child what things you were interested in when you were young and what you are especially interested in now.

Ask your child what would help him learn more about what he is interested in. Tell him what you plan to do now to enjoy your special interests.

Think about whether you can get your child some lessons or classes. If they are too expensive, maybe there is a volunteer in your neighborhood, at work, or at church who knows a lot about what your child is interested in and would share what he or she knows with your child.

Help your child find other kids to be with that have the same interest or talent as he or she does.

Past 2026 PICTURE BOOK CLUB postings:

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